Get a Website Roast
You’ll get:
A personal video walking through your site (what’s working, what’s not).
A concise SEO audit PDF.
A simple “first fixes” checklist so you know what to do next.
Get a Website Roast
You’ll get:
A personal video walking through your site (what’s working, what’s not).
A concise SEO audit PDF.
A simple “first fixes” checklist so you know what to do next.
Ready for the Heat?
Fill out form
Receive: guidance with a dash of humor
Simple, complimentary, and probably the most honest feedback your website’s ever had.
FAQ
What’s the catch?
No catch. It’s a complimentary teardown so you can see how we think. If you love it, we can help you implement; no obligation.
How long is the video?
A quick personal walkthrough — focused, punchy, and specific to your site.
Will you be mean?
It’s a roast with love. Expect candid, constructive feedback and clear next steps (no public shaming; we only share clips with permission).
What do you check?
Homepage clarity, nav/IA, mobile basics, speed, SEO fundamentals, trust signals, conversion friction, accessibility essentials, and quick-win content ideas.
Why We Roast?
“Because nice feedback won’t fix broken buttons, confusing copy, or a homepage that puts people to sleep. Sometimes you need the truth served straight — with a side of strategy.
I’ve built brands, websites, and systems for years — and I’ve seen the same patterns over and over. A roast lets me cut through the fluff, add a little humor, and tell you straight what’s working — and what’s holding you back.
It’s not about tearing you down — it’s 100% about to help you move forward with confidence.”
Founder/Roaster, DefineMe
Why We Roast?
“Because nice feedback won’t fix broken buttons, confusing copy, or a homepage that puts people to sleep. Sometimes you need the truth served straight — with a side of strategy.
I’ve built brands, websites, and systems for years — and I’ve seen the same patterns over and over. A roast lets me cut through the fluff, add a little humor, and tell you straight what’s working — and what’s holding you back.
It’s not about tearing you down — it’s 100% about to help you move forward with confidence.”
Founder/ Roaster, DefineMe
What We Grill You On
Health & Functionality
Broken links, glitchy buttons, or awkward layouts? If it feels clunky, we’ll call it out and fix the flow.
Structure & Navigation
Your site map should guide, not confuse. If visitors feel lost, they’re gone. We’ll keep them moving.
Speed & Performance
Slow pages = fast exits. We’ll find what’s weighing you down so your site loads quick and smooth.
Design & UX Innovation
Pretty is fine, but does it work? We check if your design actually guides people to take action.
Mobile Experience Optimization
Half of your visitors are on phones. If it pinches, zooms, or frustrates — we’ll roast it and fix it.
SEO, Visibility & Growth
If Google can’t find you, customers can’t either. We’ll check your basics and boost your visibility.
Authenticity & Connection
Does your site sound like you? If it’s bland or off-brand, we’ll help it click with the right people.
Conversions & CTAs
Your calls-to-action should be bold, not invisible. We’ll point out where they’re hiding — and why.
What Clients Are Saying
Real stories. Real growth. Here’s what happens when businesses stop guessing and start fixing.
Dr. Amy Tomlinson | Award Winning Gynecologist
"DefineMe was able to read my mind and deliver content that is in my voice. They increased my patient volume by 50% and I can't thank them enough for what they have done for my business."
Jason Paul | Founder
Lifecore
"Ariel's work has exceeded our expectations, which is why we will continue to partner with DefineMe as we grow and strive to improve our message and customer connections."
Kovey Kovalan | Founder
Life Amore
"I couldn't be more proud of what we achieved together, both in the creation of the brand and the website. It's a reflection of a shared vision, brought to life through our collaboration."
Prefer a Cooler Approach?
If Roasting’s not your thing and you already know your site needs serious love, let’s chat about your goals. Book a call or send us an email.
DefineMe is a boutique creative agency helping bold brands grow through storytelling, design, and digital strategy.
We keep it real — and we build things that work.
Transforming Businesses Into Unforgettable Brands | © 2025, DefineMe